Right or wrong ?

Last Monday, I was conducting a motivational workshop for a group of nurses. I follow the methodology of experience sharing and real life situation discussions. Most of the times, the solution to the problems are discovered by the participants themselves  from these discussions. And for me, this experience sharing is a great learning tool.  

In this post, I will share one incident which was shared in this workshop. It left an impact on my mind and made me wonder about what is right and what is wrong. 

Durga Puja is the biggest festival in Bengal. It is actually a sort of four day carnival , where the Bengalis just freak out. They wear colourful new dresses, indulge in eating , music , dance, drama , meeting relatives and exchanging gifts . The offices, school and colleges  are closed at least for a week and many people plan their vacation around that. It is also quite difficult to get doctors and nurses during that time. 

This being a Government run hospital, the nurses have to adjust their leaves so that there is a minimum strength in each shift.  Just a day before the start of the Puja, an old lady was brought in the hospital by her son. She had severe diarrhea,  he said.  After a while, the son left, saying that some emergency has cropped up at home and he had to leave immediately. 

The old lady, around 80 years old was admitted and given a bed in the general ward.  She was hard of hearing and could not walk without anyone's support. When asked any question, she gaped at the nurses , nodded her head and smiled.  It seemed that she was enjoying the company of the nurses. She sat on her bed, smiling, looking around her. She waved at the person lying on the next bed beside her.  At night she was given soup and khichdi (rice and pulses boiled together in a mush ). The old lady ate it with relish and had a good night's sleep. 

The next day, the nurse came and asked her "How are you feeling " ?

She said " uhh ? " 

The nurse raised her voice, came near her ears and repeated the question. 

She smiled.

"I am fine " , she smiled her toothless smile.

"During the night, how many times did you go to the washroom ?"

She raised her finger and said "Once". 

"But you are suffering from diarrhea, isn't it ? "

She smiled again, shook her head and said "Na To !" (It Means not at all in Bengali "

"Oh ! But your son admitted you for that !" The nurse was surprised. 

"Na, Na ... My son, daughter-in-law and my small grandson have gone to visit Darjeeling. They have got leave now.  There is no one at home to look after me, so they have brought me here... They will be back after two days ..."

When the nurse recounted this incident, many other nurses said that they too have had similar experiences. 

It was quite shocking for me. How could someone just abandon their mother like that , that too telling a lie. As this thought came to my mind, I tried to put myself in his son's shoes and tried out the "empathy" experiment which I do in,my workshops.  Well, the son thought that this was the best way to take care of his mother and also please his wife and son. 

But, what is right and what is wrong ? 

In some religion like Islam and Christianity, there is this concept of the Judgement day, where when a person dies, he or she is judged according to the rules laid down by the religion. Based on these, it is decided whether he will go to heaven or hell. 

In Hinduisim, there is no such concept. Here, every act has a consequence. And it is not always necessary that good act will have a good consequence and vice versa.  For example, in Gita,when Arjuna says that he cannot kill his own uncles and relatives,  Krishna tells Arjuna that the consequence of this bad act will be good. Hinduism tells us that the action is in your hands but the consequence is not.  During this life or after rebirth or after many births, the balance has to be struck.  It is like a balance sheet. The actions and consequences will always be matched. 

If I look from a moral angle, the son has done a wrong deed, by lying and almost abandoning his mother in a unknown place. But if I look from his practical and worldly angle,  he had done his best to keep everyone happy. 

Readers, what do you think ? Right or wrong ?

The smartest advise to manage your boss - The Nandi Effect

There are three kinds of people in this world. 

One who gets along with their boss . 

Second who are at logger head with their boss.

And the third kind who can manage their boss to suit mutual needs and get the work done. 

It is the rarest of the rare cases when the boss and the subordinate really really gel along naturally with each other. Usually the first kind of people are bootlickers and they are forever lying prostrate in front of their bosses, ready to do anything which their lord fancies. They are the typical "Yes managers" who neither have self respect and they turn their backs immediately once they understand that their boss has lost his position or power.  Their loyalty changes with the blink of an eye. 

The second kind of people never ever get along with their bosses. Since you cannot choose your boss, these kind of people's stay in the organization is usually short-lived. 

And then finally the third kind of people who manage their bosses.  These are the people who can make things happen, give valuable and correct feedback diplomatically and grow in their jobs. They stay in the system to make positive changes. 

In this blog post, I will talk about one very important tip to become the third kind of person. I call this the "Nandi Effect". 

For the readers who are not familiar with the Indian mythology, I will elaborate about "Nandi", the bull. 

Nandi the bull is one of the most iconic and well-known characters in Hindu mythology. The most common depiction of Nandi is a sitting bull with folded limbs. He is either black or white colored and wears a necklace with a bell. He provides the music to which Lord Shiva performs the Tandava or the cosmic creation dance.

There is hardly any Shiva temple which does not have the idol of Nandi in front of the main temple of Shiva.  And there is a curious custom.  

Before entering the Shiva shrine, the devotees whisper their prayers and wishes in the ears of Nandi. This ensures that their prayers get answered. 

How intuitive , isn't it ?

For you to be able to get your way with the boss, look around and figure out the people who are the closest to her.  The subordinates who are working with her for the day to day work , like her personal assistant, the person who is running miscellaneous errands for him, the subordinate who is the closest to her . 

Make them your friends. 

Take them into confidence . 

Gain their trust . 

Do it slowly over a period of time. 

These people are very important. 

There will be occasions when there are  some important decisions to be discussed with your boss. Something which is important for you or a bit out of the way which can be only handled by your boss.  In such similar situations, you should whisper your point and wish in the ears of your  boss's Nandi. 

If your rapport with the "Nandi" is good, then he will whisper your wishes in the boss's ears at the opportune time. Or he will tell you whether it will cut well with the boss or not and what might be the best way and the best time to put across your point of view. 

Remember, it is important to be honest and show your integrity. If ever your are found to be double crossing , you are doomed. 

So , go ahead and find the Nandi of your boss and see how smoothly you can manage your career moves !

A happy new year to all my readers and hope to be writing regularly. 

Your cheers and feedback will give me fuel to write better . 

So, do feed in your comments and let me know whether you like the posts or not !