7 ways to deal with Mean People

Yesterday I read a very interesting piece in India Today , a leading magazine in India and I wanted to share it with my blog readers. 

It is titled "Our Strange World of Work".  Coming to think of it, the world is comprised of human beings and all of us are different ! This makes management of our workforce quite difficult as we have to deal differently with different people ! Definitely difficult , but inevitably interesting ! 

This different dealing is for everybody ... Team members, colleagues and  supervisors . 

So, how do we behave? Specially with mean and negative people? The following points are helpful. 

1. Insecure - They think that they know everything . They micromanage 

• If S/he is your boss, keep her updated. Stick to your deadlines and always keep her posted about ALL the risks and issues

2. Liar - Makes Excuses, manipulator 

• Never ever trust them. Document each and every move to secure yourself.

3. Excluder - They only look for personal gain. If not, you do not exist for them !

• Try to keep a straight face without showing any emotion. It is better to keep minimum communication

4. Toxic - Backstabber, game player

• Do not indulge in any gossip with them. Minimum communication.  Do not follow any advice or suggestion from them

5. Screamer - Insults, attention seeking, yells

• Keep off as much as possible. Do not scream back. But do not let them trample over you.  Talk about any bad behaviour meted towards you as and when it happens. 

6. Narcissist - Wants everyone to feed their ego

• Do not show emotion. And no need to feed their ego

7. Incompetent - Takes the credit of the work done by other people

• Never pass on information directly to them. The information should be fed through neutral sources. 

I am sure you will be able to identify these people at your workplace. So try these out and let me know the results !

And of course , have fun !

When the Stars dim ...

The Senior Manager was intrigued.   During my weekly calls with him, he muttered  "Ananya,  Ruchika wants to switch over from Delivery Operations to HR .... I wonder why ...anyaways ... ". 

He then continued with the rest of the agenda items. 

But my antennae was sharp enough to catch this and I made it a point to talk to Ruchika after a few days.  

Ruchika was one of the best performers in the Operations and Delivery Department.

We sat face to face. She looked a bit tired after the long work day. 

"Hey ! What is the matter ? Are you not well ? "

"No... I am OK... Just a bit tired ... you understand how operations are ... something or the other always cropping up . And the customers have become so demanding ... they want everything ASAP !"

"Hmm ... Ok ... so work is keeping you very busy ... eh ? "

"Yes ... Just that nowadays I do not quite feel enthused about my work .."

"Oh ... why so ... ? " I wanted her to vent out. 

"Well ... so many things ... sometimes at the end of the day , when I ask myself what have I achieved today ... a big question mark comes in my mind ... "

"Really ? You are not enjoying your work ? You are a good performer , you have a lot of experience in this area and I always thought that you are a workaholic  " I smiled at her. 

"Yeah ... but nowadays I do not feel motivated . I think I need a change . I want to apply for the vacancy in the HR department"

"Let me understand it better. The HR role is much below what you are currently doing and the salary too is not at your current level.. and I am not sure that you will like the support role . Line function like in delivery and operation is much more challenging that support functions . So, even if you are placed in the HR role, the chances are that you might not like it after a few weeks or months."

"Hmm .."

"Ruchika ... let us talk more and think deeply... I would like to understand why you are not motivated ? Any particular reason ? " I probed gently.

"Well ... " She hesitated . 

"Yes ... go on ... this conversation will remain confidential ... ".  I worked with the organization as a change agent and a coach. 

"I ... I don't feel that I am adding value ... None of my suggestions are taken and I am not a part of any decision making ..."

The clouds started moving and I saw some light .

I talked to her for about an hour and what surmised is that she was very unhappy and demotivated about the ways of working in her department.  She was given a lot of responsibility without authority.  

She was not made a part of decision making.  When she had joined the organization about 18 months back, she was bubbling with ideas and suggestions. But by and by when her suggestions were not even acknowledged , she just stopped speaking.  Ruchika also talked about not being appreciated but whenever there was any escalation, she would be pointed at. 

Dear leaders and managers, you all must be aware that these are the most common things why an star employee becomes disillusioned and demotivated . And there comes a time , when these people leave.  As the boss , it is your responsibility to get a hang of the pulse of the employee and take necessary action. 

After our 90 minutes of discussion, Ruchika looked fresh. It is very important to listen.  Just lending a patient hearing of the woes works wonders. Listening without being judgmental is a quality which managers should nurture.  

"Ruchika,  I understand. Can I request you something ? I would like you to come up with a descriptive account of what your role should be like. Mark the areas where you think you should be a part of decision making "  .  And thus I continued.... 

I will talk to the department head and do the following :

• Put authority along with responsibility at the appropriate places

• Smoothen out the process of working

• Rewards and recognition - yes it is needed at all levels !

• Put in a process for suggestion submission and implementation

• Train the managers on listening skills 

Cheers !

Teeny Weeny : Freedom

"I want a Baloon Mamma ...see the small boy is selling them ... I want the big red heart shaped one !"

"Buy her one ... after all it is 15th August today "

The little boy was already at their car window with an eager face. 

"How much for the red one ?"

"Rs 25 sir .. ok... Ok.. don't go away, I will give it to you in Rs 20 ... ok , ok ... Rs 10 ...."

"Mamma .. I will set it free and it will fly up in the sky ... Freedom ... !" 

Th little boy put the 10 Rupee note in his pocket. 

Another such five  sale of baloons and then he will be free to go home ... to his mother ... who is waiting for him to bring some food ....

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Teeny-Weenies will spice up the monotony of the leadership posts . Hope you like them.     
Looking forward to your comments.

Flaming Emails

Emails have now become an integral part of our work. With globalization, virtual teams,  distributed delivery models, emails have become a very important instrument for communication and working together.  

Emails aid us in our work,  but sometimes , it also becomes a hindrance . It is a known fact that there is no replacement of body language and so nowadays , video conferencing is becoming popular. But due to the ease and cost effectiveness, emails are and will always remain the main tool for communication .

In my career, I have burnt my fingers several times while using emails. 

It is a natural tendency to reply or rather retort to emails that hurt you. My dear readers, I caution you, even though the urge will be irresistible, refrain from instant reply to flaming emails. 

Sleep over it. Calm down . And reply after 24 hours. 

• Flaming is a virtual term for venting or sending inflammatory messages in email. 

• Avoid flaming because it tends to create a great deal of conflict that spirals out of control.

• What you say cannot be taken back; it is in black and white

• Before you send an email message, ask yourself, “would I say this to this person’s face?”

• Calm down before responding to a message that offends you.  Once you send the message it is gone.

• Read your message twice before you send it and assume that you may be misinterpreted when proofreading.

• There are times when you may need to blow off some steam.

              Here’s a way to flame: Flame On,  Your message , Flame Off

• Remember your audience and your situation before sending the email.

• Understand the purpose of the email.  After you calm down from the shock of the email, spend a moment thinking about the actual reason the email was sent. Some people send hate mail to flex their muscles and just feel important. Such emails should be absolutely ignored. 

How should you respond to a flaming email ? Here are some tips :

• Empathize with the sender’s frustration and tell them they are right if that is true

• If you feel you are right, thank them for bringing the matter to your attention
  
• Explain what led to the problem in question

• Avoid getting bogged down by details and minor arguments

• If you are aware that the situation is in the process of being resolved let the reader know at the top of the response

• Apologize if necessary -  humility wins hearts and minds.

Any more tips  ? Do reply in the comments

Teeny Weeny : The Skating shoes

"Ma !  You promised  ! "   six year old  Mishi wailed.

"Mishi ... ! I am so tired  ! "

"But ... you promised ... ! "

"I will buy you the skating shoes tomorrow ..."

"But I told my friends that I will bring the shoes to school tomorrow for practice  !" Mishi whimpered.

"Mishi ! Don't disturb me  ! Go and study " She was irritated .

"But Ma ! The God will be angry with you  and will punish you for not keeping your promise ! Remember the story you told me ... !"

She turned her back and closed her eyes.  It was a really bad day at work.

The next day she took the second half off and bought the skating shoes.  Mishi will be surprised and happy ... she smiled to herself .

 Her cell phone rang .

"Mrs Paul ... I am calling from the city hospital ! You daughter has met with an accident ..."

She sat outside the Operation theatre ... senses numb.... the shoe packet in her hands .... she tried to pray ....

The doctor came out .

"There is no life risk , Mrs. Paul ... But I am sorry , I had to amputate her left leg .."

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Teeny-Weenies will spice up the monotony of the leadership posts . Hope you like them.     
Looking forward to your comments.

Mind the Rumour !

One day, I was busy working at my desk , when Rahul and Priya ,  two of my brightest team leads came and stood hesitatingly near my desk.  I looked up to smile at them but one look at their faces and I put my laptop away and asked them to sit. 

"Hey ! What is the matter ? What happened ? Why are you looking as if someone has died ?" 

I tried to lighten the atmosphere. 

"Er ... "  Rahul faltered. 

Priya was the outspoken one . 

"We have been hearing certain things and we are worried ... " she blurted out. 

"Well ... Tell me ... what is eating you up .. " I sensed things were a bit serious .

"We heard that our organization is planning to wind up this India facility from next month . Is that true  ?  " Priya was anxious.

I was flabbergasted.

"Who said that ? I have not heard of  any such thing. .... !"

After a lot of probing, I realized that a big rumour has infected our office ... just like a virus.

It had stemmed from the fact that as an expansion plan,  we were opening another centre and it was nearing completion.  Some of the departments were planned to shift there and arrangements were being made .

After understanding, I laughed and took them out for a cup of coffee. Over the cuppa, I told them the following folklore from Bengal , a place in the eastern regions of India.

Here it goes ....

A person crossing a field felt that there was something in his mouth and spat it out. It turned out to be a heron's feather. He could not understand how it had got into his mouth and it perplexed him a great deal. When he reached home he told his wife about it but asked her not to tell anyone lest somebody put a bad interpretation on it.

His wife was even more intrigued by the strange occurrence and felt the need to confide in someone. So she swore her neighbour to secrecy and told her what had happened.

Perhaps it was the way she told it, but her neighbour got the impression that several feathers had come out of the person's mouth. She was shocked. However, she assured the woman that such things could happen and advised her not to worry about it.

"Please don't tell anyone," said the wife.

"My lips are sealed," said the woman. But she was longing to tell someone and when she saw the washerman's wife going past, called her in and told her the whole story. Only, she made it sound as if a whole heron had come out of the person's mouth.

"Never have I heard of such a thing," said the washerwoman's  wife, her eyes popping with excitement, "and he being a vegetarian and all that, but one can never tell..."

She went away promising not to tell anyone but on the way she met her friend and the whole story sort of tumbled out of her mouth. Perhaps in her excitement she said 'herons' instead of 'heron' or perhaps her friend just imagined she had said herons but when she told her husband the story sometime later, she was emphatic that a whole flock of herons had come out of the person's mouth.

And as the story spread "herons" became "herons and other birds" and then "hundreds of birds of all shapes and sizes". 

By evening the whole village and several other neighbouring villages had heard the story and people began to arrive in droves at the person's house to witness the miraculous happenings there.

The poor fellow steadfastly denied that any bird had come out of his mouth but nobody would believe him and everybody begged him to demonstrate his wonderful power of producing birds from his mouth.

Finally in exasperation, he asked them all to sit in front of his house and when they had done so ran out of the back and hid in the jungle where he remained several days till the excitement had died down and the people had realised that the news was false.."

"So , you see Priya and Rahul ... it is the same situation here... But you did the right thing that you came and clarified this ... " I smiled. 

They were happy again ! 

"You know what rumors are like--like a jar full of moths. Once they escape, they're all over the place."  RHYS BOWEN

It is my Son's Birthday !

We are living in a Global Village.

Distance is not a barrier any more. Telephone, VOIP, Video Conferencing, Snapchat, Whatsapp, Viber  have shrunk the world.  We are able to do business in any part of the world from anywhere.  Think of Uber and Ola Cabs and the brisk business that these aggregators are doing . 

True. 

We have advanced leaps and bounds in  terms of technology but have we been able to keep pace with adapting with the cross cultural nuances as well as  cross cultural communication ? 

I doubt it. 

Cross cultural communication is a complex subject and  can sometimes put you in very awkward situations.  I will narrate an interesting anecdote which will elucidate this. 

A typical situation in a Software MNC. 

A project is in progress . The customer is a big US Financial firm. The software is being developed in India , in Bangalore.  It is a Friday evening. As usual,  the schedule is tight and the project team is chasing the deadline of delivering it on Monday. 

Everything is almost ready , but a last minute change needs the testing team to test and verify things before the final delivery. 

"Abhishek, please get two people from your team to work tomorrow - Saturday  on this and then we will be good to go on Monday " , the Project Manager tells the test lead before leaving office. 

"Ok Sir !"

Abhishek,  the test lead, plans for  Neha and Srini, the two most competent testers for working on Saturday. He asks Neha to call up Srini and convey to him the plan for the next day.

Both of them work the full day on Saturday on the software build but still there are are few test cases which are pending.  The customer wants a conference call with Neha and Srini 

"Hello Srini ... !"  Anne , the customer representative greets the team.

"Hello Anne !"

"What is the Status ?"

"Well, my part is over , but Srini still has a few pending test cases which needs execution "  Neha quips.

"Srini ... will you be able to complete them today ? "

"Anne... the execution of these test cases takes about 6 hours time and it is already very late ..."  Srini tells in an apologetic voice.

"Hmmm... are you coming tomorrow for this ? "

A  long pause at the other end.

"Srini .... " 

"Yes.... Anne ..... "

"Yeah ... " 

"It is my son's birthday tomorrow ... we have to go to the temple in the morning and in the evening Payasam will be cooked .... "

"Ok ! Thats Great ! A very happy birthday to your son ! "

That was the end of the conversation. 

What do you think happened next ?  

The project was NOT delivered on Monday. 

Srini, when he said that it was his son's birthday and payasam etc, he thought that Anne would understand that he could not come for work on Sunday.  In India, going to the temple on birthdays and spending time for worship is sanctimonious. 

Anne , on the other hand, did not understand this cultural aspect . She politely wished "Happy Birthday " for his son , but assumed that Srini would be executing the test cases on Sunday so that the deadline can be met !  

Indeed , a classic case of  cultural differences a well as communication !

Every country has its way of saying things. The importance is that which lies behind people’s words.

Offence and Punishment

A few days back , I got a frantic call from one of my Managers.  He had served a "Disciplinary Note" to one of his subordinates . After receiving the note, the employee was very upset.  Through his tears , he had called up his manager and apologized and wanted the note to be reverted.

"What should I do ? Should I request the HR for the reversal ? He is so upset and demotivated ".  The manager sounded despondent.

It was a firm "No" from my end and I substantiated with the following reasons. 

First of all , any disciplinary action is always a well thought out and progressive process.  Second, as a leader and manager, though we should be empathetic towards the team, we should be able to clearly separate the heart from the head. I know, I know .... it is easier said than done, however that is how it is.

Third and very important, it would set a bad precedent in the organization and denigrate its culture.

There is a thin "line" between Discipline and  Learning.  

Literally . 

If you remove "line"  from the word and suffix it with an "e" , it becomes   "Disciple" !  From our childhood, we have linked discipline mainly with school  where we gather knowledge as well as learn discipline.  And it is so very important to allow for discipline at Work. 

At work, we deal with people and not androids. And people will always falter, some more , some less .  We will be sometimes late for office, violate company rules etc.  And this is where discipline come in. 

In most of the organizations, the disciplinary action progression goes like this :

1. Informal warning
2. Written warning
3. Suspension
4. Termination

Suspension and termination are very formal but for the warnings , the following are the guidelines :

• The verbal , informal warnings should be done as soon as the indiscipline is noticed. The timing is important, since the reprimand loses its sheen with time.

• Hold on to your words if you are angry. You should be in control of the yourself as well as the situation.  Sarcasm is also a strict "No-no".

• Talk about the "What" and not the "Who"

• Open your ears. Listen attentively with an open mind and heart. 

• State the problem clearly and let him know the expectation. Provide constructive criticism.

• Ask the employee what he thinks about the problem and how it can be solved. In most of the cases, the solution comes from him and he then takes complete responsibility and ownership of the same.

• At the end, use positivity.  If needed , comment on a few accomplishments achieved by him and how you are sure that he would improve

Last , but not at all the least, if at the end of the interview you think the employee is remorseful and realizes his mistake, the manager can go all out and give him assurance and gain his trust.  

But ... again ... be careful .. you have to be a good judge to do so.  

Personally, I think that the best situation in an organization is to have highly motivated teams who can self monitor. 

This is the ideal scenario where whenever any infraction occurs, the team member is warned verbally by the leader. In the second instance,  the employee is asked to affirm that the offence will not recur.  The person is asked to take a day off and decide whether he will be able to keep his word or not and decide whether he wants to continue in the organization.

In this Utopian situation, the reprimand process becomes redundant since everyone in the team have their own goals and become self controllers. 

Discipline begins when we take action to correct the situation. And while doing so, we learn and grow. 

Cheers !

Teeny Weeny : Rain ....

Rain,
Rain on my heart,
Drench it with your silvery , sparkling drops ....

Rain,
Calm my soul with your  incessant pitter-patter,
Wash away my agony,
Guise the tears streaking down my face.

Rain,
Help me pause .....
Let me soak in the moments ...
Swamp me with love ....
Immerse me in the soft luminescence of life ....

Rain,
The paper boat is washed away,
The earthy aroma of the soil has faded...
Dry,
Depleted.
Parched.

Rain,
Torrential rain ,
Deluge me ....
Enfold me in your showers ...
Rejuvenate my leaves....
Make me green again  ....

Rain,
Come to me ,
Once More ....

***

Teeny-Weenies will spice up the monotony of the leadership posts . Hope you like them.     
Looking forward to your comments.

The Customer's Pencil

This is a true life incident and I often talk about this during my sessions on Quality. 

The age of "Customer Satisfaction" is passe ... now is the age of "Customer Delight" . 

All the organizations talk about their own methods of nurturing their customers . Vishal Sikka, the CEO of  Infosys is personally monitoring the top 100 customers of the company - taking care of their stated as well as unstated needs. The senior management of the companies address their teams about how innovation should be deployed so that the customers are not only delighted but they become ecstatic !

But we have to be careful.  

First we have to understand what our clients need. The cut and dry requirements which we document , do they meet the business purpose ?  What we think as "innovation" and "value addition", do the customers really think so ? It might be the other way round ! 

This anecdote will elucidate the point. 

A very large MNC had ordered the manufacture of fancy pencils with the name of the company embossed on it , for business promotion and gifts.  Accurate specifications , design , colour etc was provided . It was a huge order for the pencil manufacturing vendor and they were all geared up to do their best . 

After lots of thought the Vendor put a colourful, scented eraser  that the top of the pencils as "value addition". This was supposed to be the surprise element ... promotion of customer delight and ecstasy. 

When the consignment was delivered, the customer was furious !  He did not want the pencils ! 

"Why did you put these erasers ? Now you will have to pay for the losses which we have incurred  ... and it runs into millions !"

What do you think went wrong ??? 

....

......
.............

................. 

It so happened that the client had engaged another vendor for the manufacture of the pencil boxes.  

And with the eraser fitted on the top, the pencil did not fit in the box ! 

So.... whenever you think of Customer Delight or Customer Ecstasy or Value addition, first think of "Conformance to Requirements" .... and this anecdote !!

Cheers and have a nice weekend !