The Girl Child

Last week I was invited to give a talk in a Ladies club .  '

"Speak on anything, Ananya ", the Club President told me. "Anything which you think will make us think and feel motivated to do something good".

It was a strange request and frankly, I did not know what to talk about. The audience was a group of ladies from the higher strata of the society, most of them were home makers, in the age group of  35 - 50 years.  I was in a fix.  I did not want to give any sermon. I am used to speaking in professional forums - mostly about work related or behavioural  topics. My examples and anecdotes are all from real life experiences and this audience was totally new to me.  I was really in a fix.  I was also a bit apprehensive because I did not want to hurt the sentiments of the ladies in any way.  

After hearing my angst, my husband told me "Why don't you talk about the Girl Child ? It is a general topic and I know you are passionate about it .."

"It is a good topic, but is there anything new to talk about ? Everyday something or the other is splashed in the newspaper about this ..." I was not convinced, but I could not think of any other topic either. By that time my husband was busy with his work and did not have time to listen further to my woes.

Finally, I did prepare a few points on the plight of Girl child in India , but the twist was that I made it a bit personal.  In this blog post, I will share a few things which I talked about .. and yes ... it was a hit ! Will talk about that past at the end of this post. 

First , a few statistics. The CSR in India (Child Sex Ratio : no of girls per 1000 boys , in the age group of 0 -6 years) : 1991 : 945, 2001 : 927 ; 2011 : 918, current is approx <900 . Alarming , isn't it ?

And the problem does not only lie in the lower strata of the society . It has been found that the CSR is the lowest in the poshest locality in Delhi and other metropolitan cities. In Haryana, the situation is such that girls are being brought from other states for matrimony . 

The plight of the girl child is deplorable. 

The first challenge they face is survival ! Though pre-natal sex determination is a crime, but it is evident that this is happening.  The next challenge is early marriage . 45% girls are married before they turn 18 ! They die during childbirth and malnutrition during pregnancy.  The bigger the family, the less likely the girls will go to school.  "Why do they need to go to school ? They will anyways get married and do household work. So it is better that they learn the domestic work " is the plea.  

We , the uplifted lot know that if you educate a girl, you educate a family. But , are the females empowered enough to take decisions ? They are mainly forced into submission. 

I had a helper in my house, who had 3 daughters. He and his wife were always in a pall of gloom.  "What will I do ? I have to pay so much dowry to get them married ". He did not go to his village because his relatives and neighbours taunted his wife for bearing daughters ! I had counseled them a couple of times but maybe that was not enough. His eldest daughter was very intelligent  and I helped her with maths and English whenever she came to  me for help.  But, did I do enough ? I asked the audience ? No... I should have persisted... taken a step further ... taken genuine interest ... not a passing feeling. 

One day I was talking to my chauffeur. He has a daughter , 20 years old. She is a commerce graduate and doing internship in an accounting firm. She has some problem in her ovaries and will never be able to bear a child. Her parents are worried about getting her married . " I have talked to a family who are ready to get their son married to my daughter. But they are demanding Rs 25 lakhs dowry ... " . I was aghast.  "Does your daughter know ? Does she want to get married ? " I asked. "No Mam ! But what will the society say if she is not married ? " 

"But what will happen if they torture her and throw her out after marriage ? Marriage is not the end all for her ! She is working . Let her earn and support herself first. Then if she wants to get married to someone it is fine !" I had told him.  But ... was that enough ? No... not at all .. again  I should have taken a further step...I should have talked to his wife and daughter ... counseled then maybe a couple of times - to put across my thoughts. 

"So ladies ... can we do little bit more to contribute to the society ? First, we should all set example in our own home. I am sure we do not make any discrimination between our boy and girls. That should set examples to the people around us. Charity begins at home , you know. Second,  at any given chance, we should sensitize them - specially the women and the girls about their rights - right to education, freedom to take decision. We ourselves should be aware of the various laws and the Government schemes for women and sensitize them. If we keep our ears and eyes open and sense that the people need more help, we can at least get them connected to the various NGOs and women helpline in the city ! We should motivate and make them empowered by taking a little more interest... a little more participation ... a little more care ... "

The applause was resounding. To my satisfaction, it evoked quite a lot of discussion and I felt that some thought process has been ignited ... 

If I can even set a spark in their minds, I will think that my time has been worth spent.

If all of us strive to do something together, we will surely be a able to make some difference !