What I learnt from my Teenaged Daughter

My daughter was a 15 year old teenager when we went to Tanzania on a family vacation.  Me, my husband and my daughter. 

It is always very difficult to match the holidays of all three of us but after quite a lot of trials and tribulations , we had managed to take 2 weeks off from our busy schedules.  Initially, we had planned to go to Europe , but Pulin, a very dear college friend of my husband, who was posted in Tanzania at that time,  insisted that we visit  Africa instead. 

"I will make all the arrangements !" he said "You must visit Serengeti Wildlife reserve. It is my  guarantee that you will not be disappointed !"

So ,  off we went to Tanzania. And by Jove, we were not disappointed !  Pulin had meticulously planned everything for us . The logistical arrangements of the stay included spending a night in a tent right in the middle of a dense forest ! It was near the huge Ngorongoro crater . The tents had 2 beds each. I insisted that my daughter and I sleep in one tent and my husband spends the night in another one.  

My daughter did  not like the arrangement. 

"Ma, I am big enough and I am not afraid. I will sleep in the other tent , not Baba " . The rebellious teenager said. 

"No ! " . The protective mother insisted. 

She was silent for a few moments and then said . "OK. But you have to promise me that the next thing which I will ask for , you will not say No". 

She looked straight at my eyes.  I waited .  Seconds ticked away. She kept on looking straight at my eyes. 

I had to say "OK" . 

You know, it is always so difficult to communicate with a teenager. At that moment, I wanted to have my way, come what may.  

I did not know what price I would have to pay for this promise later !

I don't know whether Minnie, my daughter was frightened or not when  the foxes came trotting up to our tent and made strange noises, but I definitely was ! I clutched her tightly throughout the night. 

The visit to the Seringiti Reserve was also magical.  Lions, Giraffes, thousands of Zebras walked past our Safari Jeep! You just have to experience it to believe it! 

Pulin was right . It was an amazing experience. Unforgettable !

The last lap of our vacation was in the beautiful island of Zanzibar.  The soft white sands of the beach, the transparent water of the sea, the blue ocean mingling into the blue sky in the horizon, it was heavenly. We were absolutely enchanted. It was almost 12 noon when we reached the beach side hotel. We kept our bags in the room and ran towards the beach. 

I love the sea. It never fails to mesmerize me. The waves, the beach, the happy faces, the sunlight, the breeze, I soak them in whenever I am near the sea. 

But , I have a  fear of water.  Knee deep water is my limit for venturing inside the sea.  

As we looked around the beach,  I knew what was coming next ....

Both father and daughter looked at me and said, "Lets go snorkeling !".

I did not protest because I knew that snorkeling is always done in shallow water , not too far from the beach and the beautiful Atlantic Ocean in front of me was not like the angry Bay of Bengal at Puri (Orissa in India). 

The blue water in Zanzibar beach swayed softly like the long tresses of a youthful girl. 

But my ordeal was yet to begin. 

A snorkeling guide came towards us. My husband discussed with him and signaled towards us to come to the boat. 

"Boat ? Why Boat ? Snorkeling is done right from the beach !" I exclaimed

"Yeah, I know , but the guide is saying that due to the tide, he will take us a bit inside the sea and then we will do snorkeling". 

"No. Then you can do it tomorrow ". 

Both of them looked disappointed and then came the lethal weapon .....

"Ma ! I want to do snorkeling now !"

"No !"

"No ? Ma ... " Minnie paused , " Remember your promise ? " 

I did not know what to say.  How could I go back on my words ?  A promise is a promise is a promise !

I did not say anything for a few seconds. Those few seconds were like eternity for both me and Minnie. 

Then I made up my mind . 

"OK. I too will come with you two on the boat " . 

"Ma , You will also come into the water ? " Minnie's eyes shone with excitement. 

"Not exactly ! I will sit on the boat while you enjoy the sport", and all three of us sat on the boat, put on life jackets on us and ventured ahead on the gorgeous water which twinkled as the bright sun rays fell on it.

I tried to put on a very calm and unperturbed face, mustered up enough courage to look stoic and happy. But deep down my heart, I was very very afraid. 

What we did not know was that high tide had set in and snorkeling could not be done . The best time for it was in the early hours of the morning.  The tout did not want to lose an opportunity to make some quick buck and hence he had suggested that we take the boat, go inside the sea for snorkeling.

As the boat pounded further into the sea, my heart started thudding harder and harder. There was water all around me. Due to the high tide, there were no other boat around us. I was frightened , Really , really frightened. 

At that moment, I took a decision. I know it might sound foolish, but I was dead serious.  I took a decision that if I see anything untoward happening to my husband and daughter, I will instantly throw open my life jacket and dive inside the deep water.  Yes. That was what I decided.  As soon as my decision firmed up in my mind, I became calm. I looked around me and soaked in the beauty of the moment.  

I could feel the thin line between life and death. 

My husband and my daughter put on the snorkeling gear and went into the water. I kissed them. My husband had done snorkeling earlier in Philippines, but that experience was different. It was near the beach. Here, when he went inside, the water came inside his nose and throat and suddenly he lost his cool when he could not sense the ground under his feet. He came up the boat and said he will prefer not to snorkel. I held his hands tightly and asked my daughter too to come up. She could try again tomorrow. 

This time, it was she who said "No " !

"Ma, I have decided to do it now. I too am feeling a bit afraid, but if I do not overcome my fear now, I know I will never ever be able to snorkel ", Minnie panted. 

"But .... ".

"If I do not let go of my fear now, I will lose my self confidence. Would you like that ? I HAVE to succeed .... "

Hearing those words from a 15 year old immature teenager had a profound effect on me.  I could not say anything . I looked at her as  she talked to the snorkeling guide and asked him to hold her hands and be near her when she would snorkel. I saw her putting on the gear, take the air pipe in her mouth and dive inside the water.  I sat like a statue . I saw her disappear from my line of sight . 

And I looked inside my heart. 

If my small daughter was trying so hard to overcome her fears, could I too not try ?  Can I not take my fear by the horns and at least try to drive it away ?

After about 20 minutes, Minnie came back.  She was ecstatic. 

"My God ! " she embraced us . " The sea is so beautiful. I saw the most wonderful corals . I have never seen such colours before . It was just fantastic. Thank you Ma for letting me do it !"

I looked at her flushed , happy, animated face. Her words blurred inside my ears. She chatted and talked and shrieked and  described her adventure.  

She had succeeded. 

As we returned towards the shore, the cool breeze brushed my hair on my face.

I made another decision. 

I will learn from my daughter.  I will also succeed.  Tomorrow, I too will go snorkeling with them.