We do not get everything in our life.
Scene 1 : We aspire for something , we try hard and do whatever it takes to attain our goals but sometimes in spite of all our efforts , we fail. We curse our fates, become depressed and unhappy. We mope around with long face , people try to console us , but we still are unhappy.
Scene 2 : Years pass by. And now when we look back at the incident and our failure, we thank our lucky stars that whatever happened was for the best !
I am sure all of us have gone through similar situations. But hang on ! There is a period between scene 1 and scene 2 where we keep on feeling miserable and unhappy and in that duration, we miss out on precious time ... the time which will never come back again !
So folks, here are some tips how we can try to be happy. But the catch is - we have to practice being happy. If we can follow these steps when we are feeling down and in the dumps, we will be able to enjoy our valuable and priceless gift - the present !
- Think of the people who have bigger problems than you : Suppose you do not get the coveted promotion and you are really miserable. Think of the people who do not have a job ! If you are worried that your daughter has flunked in her maths exam , think of the parents who have specially abled children . Don't you think your problem just got smaller ?
- "This too shall pass " : The famous writing on the wall. Everything is temporary. The sorrow that you feel now will pass and hang on ... if you ever feel that you are on cloud 9 , remember that that is also transient.
- Fake it till you feel it : Feelings follow actions. If you are feeling low, deliberately act cheery, and you will find that you are actually feeling happier. If you are feeling angry at someone, do something thoughtful for her and your feelings toward her soften. This strategy is uncannily effective.
- Do not be too harsh to yourself : Sometimes , in the rush of things, we are too unkind to ourselves. We take ourselves too seriously, punish ourselves and start hating ourselves. Go slow ! Give yourself a break.You are good. You are loved. You have had your wins. You have unique qualities and potential. Celebrate your small wins. Appreciate yourself. Love yourself.
- Don't let time slip away : When people realise that their life is almost over and look back , they see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it. The biggest wake-up call here is that these people didn’t mean for this to happen—one day blended into the next, and “someday” passed by, and a call to follow a specific dream went unanswered. Scary, isn't it ? So, do not procrastinate, do not let the seconds melt away. Pursue your dreams. Let failures come , you can just bend your way and walk on the green grass on the other route, not losing track of the bigger goal.
- Optimism, Hope and Gratitude : The power of positive thinking is boundless. Regular practice of positive thinking gives us hope and optimism. Gratitude for what we have , a word of praise or appreciation for your child or subordinate , helping others, doing a good deed a week will make you happy. For me , working with orphanages and old age homes are therapeutic. All of us are very busy in the rat race with the fear of being left out. If we can proactively fit in some time for good deeds and service to others , we will automatically be practicing "active" gratitude. And believe me , it will make you profoundly happy and your problems will appear really trivial.
- Invest in strong relationships : Relationships are our strengths. It is empowering and liberating. Strong bonds make us what we are. They define us. They are our life blood. Whatever may be the situation, if we have robust bonds, we are saved. If we have strong ties with our parents, we know that whatever may be the situation, they are there with us and that gives us immense strength to fight back. So, nurture your relationships - with your parents, friends , spouse, siblings . Stay in touch with them. Spend time with them.
Life is beautiful and precious. Do not waste it !
Choose happiness !
Do newer things, enjoy the "Fun of failure" , turn adversity into advantage, enjoy the "pauses" that life presents and love yourself !