Sunday 31 December 2017

1st January 2018

1st January 2018 ! 

There are always certain rituals about 1st January.  

The first one is the thought that always crosses my mind on the 1st day of the year is "Whew ! The last year just whizzed past  ... ! ' Time seems to fly and each year 365 days seems to shrink and become smaller and smaller.  Why so ? With all the automation and technology , we should have had more time in our hands. We should have been able to do the things that we want to do . But that seems an eutopia. Strange ...

The second ritual is all about setting goals and resolutions.  But again , by the time two to three weeks go by,  the goals and resolutions just dissolve and we are back to our old self. 

Th third ritual is about wishing our near and dear ones a happy and prosperous new year. Earlier , I used to send cards. Then it became phone calls. Then it was SMS . And now, it is just a whatsapp message , that too maybe some GIF forwarded by someone else ..

Having said all that, I don't think I have become that cynical so as to not have any resolutions this year.  But maybe , I want to change what I want an how I want . Here goes ...

  • I want to be Happy : I want to live in the moment. The present.  I want to enjoy the small things in life like meeting friends, taking  care of my health, wearing a new dress, reading a good novel, be with my family.
  • I want to save time : I will not waste time on things that do not add value to me.  I will not talk to people who spread negative energy in my life. I will ration my time for social media. I will not over react or over think about any stressful situations. 
  • I want to start over : This is one big risk which I want to take and foray into a new area in my career. It will be like starting over. I might face failure. But I think it will give me greater joy. 
  • I want to follow my passion : There are some things which I have been procrastinating for the last few years. This year I want to work towards it and accomplish my goal.  
  • I want to talk, meet and touch : Instead of the virtual world, I want to talk to my near and dear ones. I want to see or hear  their laughter and not any emoji. 

They say that instead of goals , make habits . And to make a habit, you have to do that act continuously for 30 consecutive days.  And the first day is today !


I wish all my readers a very happy new 2018 ! 

I am sure all of you have at least one resolution and I hope you will achieve it !

Cheers !



Tuesday 19 December 2017

The Girl Child

Last week I was invited to give a talk in a Ladies club .  '

"Speak on anything, Ananya ", the Club President told me. "Anything which you think will make us think and feel motivated to do something good".

It was a strange request and frankly, I did not know what to talk about. The audience was a group of ladies from the higher strata of the society, most of them were home makers, in the age group of  35 - 50 years.  I was in a fix.  I did not want to give any sermon. I am used to speaking in professional forums - mostly about work related or behavioural  topics. My examples and anecdotes are all from real life experiences and this audience was totally new to me.  I was really in a fix.  I was also a bit apprehensive because I did not want to hurt the sentiments of the ladies in any way.  

After hearing my angst, my husband told me "Why don't you talk about the Girl Child ? It is a general topic and I know you are passionate about it .."

"It is a good topic, but is there anything new to talk about ? Everyday something or the other is splashed in the newspaper about this ..." I was not convinced, but I could not think of any other topic either. By that time my husband was busy with his work and did not have time to listen further to my woes.

Finally, I did prepare a few points on the plight of Girl child in India , but the twist was that I made it a bit personal.  In this blog post, I will share a few things which I talked about .. and yes ... it was a hit ! Will talk about that past at the end of this post. 

First , a few statistics. The CSR in India (Child Sex Ratio : no of girls per 1000 boys , in the age group of 0 -6 years) : 1991 : 945, 2001 : 927 ; 2011 : 918, current is approx <900 . Alarming , isn't it ?

And the problem does not only lie in the lower strata of the society . It has been found that the CSR is the lowest in the poshest locality in Delhi and other metropolitan cities. In Haryana, the situation is such that girls are being brought from other states for matrimony . 

The plight of the girl child is deplorable. 

The first challenge they face is survival ! Though pre-natal sex determination is a crime, but it is evident that this is happening.  The next challenge is early marriage . 45% girls are married before they turn 18 ! They die during childbirth and malnutrition during pregnancy.  The bigger the family, the less likely the girls will go to school.  "Why do they need to go to school ? They will anyways get married and do household work. So it is better that they learn the domestic work " is the plea.  

We , the uplifted lot know that if you educate a girl, you educate a family. But , are the females empowered enough to take decisions ? They are mainly forced into submission. 

I had a helper in my house, who had 3 daughters. He and his wife were always in a pall of gloom.  "What will I do ? I have to pay so much dowry to get them married ". He did not go to his village because his relatives and neighbours taunted his wife for bearing daughters ! I had counseled them a couple of times but maybe that was not enough. His eldest daughter was very intelligent  and I helped her with maths and English whenever she came to  me for help.  But, did I do enough ? I asked the audience ? No... I should have persisted... taken a step further ... taken genuine interest ... not a passing feeling. 

One day I was talking to my chauffeur. He has a daughter , 20 years old. She is a commerce graduate and doing internship in an accounting firm. She has some problem in her ovaries and will never be able to bear a child. Her parents are worried about getting her married . " I have talked to a family who are ready to get their son married to my daughter. But they are demanding Rs 25 lakhs dowry ... " . I was aghast.  "Does your daughter know ? Does she want to get married ? " I asked. "No Mam ! But what will the society say if she is not married ?

"But what will happen if they torture her and throw her out after marriage ? Marriage is not the end all for her ! She is working . Let her earn and support herself first. Then if she wants to get married to someone it is fine !" I had told him.  But ... was that enough ? No... not at all .. again  I should have taken a further step...I should have talked to his wife and daughter ... counseled then maybe a couple of times - to put across my thoughts. 

"So ladies ... can we do little bit more to contribute to the society ? First, we should all set example in our own home. I am sure we do not make any discrimination between our boy and girls. That should set examples to the people around us. Charity begins at home , you know. Second,  at any given chance, we should sensitize them - specially the women and the girls about their rights - right to education, freedom to take decision. We ourselves should be aware of the various laws and the Government schemes for women and sensitize them. If we keep our ears and eyes open and sense that the people need more help, we can at least get them connected to the various NGOs and women helpline in the city ! We should motivate and make them empowered by taking a little more interest... a little more participation ... a little more care ... "

The applause was resounding. To my satisfaction, it evoked quite a lot of discussion and I felt that some thought process has been ignited ... 

If I can even set a spark in their minds, I will think that my time has been worth spent.

If all of us strive to do something together, we will surely be a able to make some difference !



Thursday 7 December 2017

Three Mistakes

To err is human. 

And I am a human being.  I have made many mistakes. Both at work and elsewhere.  After 24 + years of corporate experience, when I look back , I do not feel any regret , but I certainly feel that if I had a mentor or a guide , I could have dealt with certain situations in a much better manner. 

So I thought of penning down a few mistakes and the lessons that I have learnt from these experiences. This post is dedicated to all such professionals who struggle with office politics, deadlines and balancing work and home !

  • Never ever go into head on collision :  There have been many instances where I have felt wronged and hurt.  I have been accused of  things which I have not done or said . I have been blamed for missing deadlines when it was clear that the initial planning done to get the business was unrealistic. And many such scenarios.  Whatever be the case, we should not get into head-on collision with the boss or our colleagues. I had a tendency of writing retaliatory emails , escalating etc. but it never worked. The best way to deal with such situations is to cool down first. Then talk very very logically , with data points to explain yourself. Let the data talk.  I am not asking you to forget your hurt, but wait for the right time and the right situation when you can give it back . 

  • Never Give Up :  There were times when I felt frustrated , dejected and sorry for myself. In a few cases,  it was so bad that I gave up. I thought "enough is enough !" and I quit.  That was a mistake !  I have realized later that you can only change things if you are IN the system and not OUT of it.  And sometimes it is only you who lose because we all know that no one in indispensable.  You should think of quitting only in three situations. If you are not happy with the work , the company culture , the people and if you feel that there is no growth and learning for you.

  • Be Tactful and Make relationships : At any level, a very important thing is to be tactful.  Understand the situation, understand the people , understand the context an then make your move The main thing is that you have to get along well , as well as do the right things and get the right work done.  It is normal to be defensive or put blame on the other person . You should set yourself for success if you establish a common ground between you and your counterpart. 

As you go along in your professional life, remember to make relationships along the way. It helps in moving to greener pastures and it gives great joy to connect later in life.

I know the points sound theoritical but believe me, I have gone through these , made mistakes and have had setbacks. 

Hope you can learn from them !

Cheers !