Being Nice

Being Nice 

Do you think that being nice to your team or peers or customers is not necessary ? Or are you of the opinion that if you are nice (specially to your subordinates), you will be termed as a "weak" leader ? I absolutely disagree with that . On the contrary, I think that being extraordinarily nice is the way to be !  You will attract undivided  trust,extreme loyalty exceptional customer satisfaction and above all you yourself will feel damn good about it. Believe me. It is contagious ! I have experienced it !

And "being nice" is not limited to anyone. Anyone can be nice. I recollect an incident which I experienced about 12-14 years back. I had gone on an assignment to London - for doing the requirement study for a large MNC.  I  had and still have an intense desire to explore new places and I was thrilled to bits about being able to see Big Ben, Thames, Buckingham palace, Harrods, Hyde Park and so on .. With very limited money and very very limited time (only on weekends), I tried to make the most of it. On one fine evening , I was very hungry and wanted to eat Indian food. Lots of Indian joints . The problem was that if I wanted to  have an extra serving of rice with the delicious prawn curry, I would have had to forego visiting the Oxford University and Avon. I decided on the latter and ordered the most frugal Indian meal . Somehow the Bangadeshi waiter understood and after a few minutes, brought a steaming plate of rice and said that this is free - from his own share ! He was being astoundingly nice.  I was so touched that whenever I went to London, I always visited that joint. And then I did not need free servings. Instead , I could  take gifts for him and gave very good  feedback about him . Guess what ? After a few years , he opened his own Indian food restaurant which is stupendously popular !

I have experienced the results of  "Being Nice" with so many people with whom I have interacted at my workplace. "Being Nice" and " being assertive" are not mutually exclusive.  You can be both. And  you exude power by Being Nice. 

The 365 list

The 365 things to do ...

I am travelling back from Kolkata to Delhi. My co-passengers  are a family of three. Husband , wife and their 13 year old son who studies in class 9 in Alwar. After dinner , the lady started some small talk with me and casually mentioned that they are returning after visiting their brother-in-law who has met with a terrible accident . He is a state of coma for the last 3 weeks and the doctors have not given any hope. Multiple organ failure has started. But they  have to return. The summer vacation is over, the husband does not have any leave , son's tuition is waiting . 

As she was describing the condition to me , I was struck with a strange feeling . Nothing very new, but somehow I felt the impact of how life will go on for them as well as the brother-in-laws family.  A grieved daughter studying Engineering and his wife are slowly coming to terms with the situation. No one really is indispensable.  

I thought about the person who is lying in a coma ... on his death bed, the people surrounding him praying for his peaceful death.  He must have had plans for tomorrow, for vacations with his family. Plans and worries regarding his daughter's education, marriage and retirement planning. While leaving for office at 8 am in the morning and coming back at 9 pm, thoughts of leisure and "adda" with friends must have come to his mind which he must have postponed for a later tomorrow . That tomorrow never came. 

All of us plan for tomorrow. Small things like talking to our parents, laughing with our kids, going for hike are planned. Some of the things do not need postponing - but we feel that these are small things which can be planned for and done anytime. " I will do it tomorrow". A very dangerous 5word sentence ! Our parents and child  might be waiting to hear just a few words from us which will make their day joyful. In our stressfull day to day life, we forget that  small things make a big difference.

Most of us usually plan our finances meticulously and we know exactly how much money we will get and plan for spending it. Why can't we the same with the priceless things in our lives ? Why don't we make a list of 365 things to be done before we die  ? Not 10 or 101. I want 365  things . At least one year of my life to do the things which really matter to me rather than living in daily transactions. I do not want to postpone buying the long awaited  gift for my childhood nanny and take my parents for a five-star vacation. 

I pray to God that the ailing person can live so that he can enjoy the simple pleasures of life and can complete his 365 things which he might have wanted to do before his final goodbye from this earth. 

I will start the 365 list today and make sure that I complete at least a couple of them every month. 

June 14, 2012