The smartest advise to manage your boss - The Nandi Effect

There are three kinds of people in this world. 

One who gets along with their boss . 

Second who are at logger head with their boss.

And the third kind who can manage their boss to suit mutual needs and get the work done. 

It is the rarest of the rare cases when the boss and the subordinate really really gel along naturally with each other. Usually the first kind of people are bootlickers and they are forever lying prostrate in front of their bosses, ready to do anything which their lord fancies. They are the typical "Yes managers" who neither have self respect and they turn their backs immediately once they understand that their boss has lost his position or power.  Their loyalty changes with the blink of an eye. 

The second kind of people never ever get along with their bosses. Since you cannot choose your boss, these kind of people's stay in the organization is usually short-lived. 

And then finally the third kind of people who manage their bosses.  These are the people who can make things happen, give valuable and correct feedback diplomatically and grow in their jobs. They stay in the system to make positive changes. 

In this blog post, I will talk about one very important tip to become the third kind of person. I call this the "Nandi Effect". 

For the readers who are not familiar with the Indian mythology, I will elaborate about "Nandi", the bull. 

Nandi the bull is one of the most iconic and well-known characters in Hindu mythology. The most common depiction of Nandi is a sitting bull with folded limbs. He is either black or white colored and wears a necklace with a bell. He provides the music to which Lord Shiva performs the Tandava or the cosmic creation dance.

There is hardly any Shiva temple which does not have the idol of Nandi in front of the main temple of Shiva.  And there is a curious custom.  

Before entering the Shiva shrine, the devotees whisper their prayers and wishes in the ears of Nandi. This ensures that their prayers get answered. 

How intuitive , isn't it ?

For you to be able to get your way with the boss, look around and figure out the people who are the closest to her.  The subordinates who are working with her for the day to day work , like her personal assistant, the person who is running miscellaneous errands for him, the subordinate who is the closest to her . 

Make them your friends. 

Take them into confidence . 

Gain their trust . 

Do it slowly over a period of time. 

These people are very important. 

There will be occasions when there are  some important decisions to be discussed with your boss. Something which is important for you or a bit out of the way which can be only handled by your boss.  In such similar situations, you should whisper your point and wish in the ears of your  boss's Nandi. 

If your rapport with the "Nandi" is good, then he will whisper your wishes in the boss's ears at the opportune time. Or he will tell you whether it will cut well with the boss or not and what might be the best way and the best time to put across your point of view. 

Remember, it is important to be honest and show your integrity. If ever your are found to be double crossing , you are doomed. 

So , go ahead and find the Nandi of your boss and see how smoothly you can manage your career moves !

A happy new year to all my readers and hope to be writing regularly. 

Your cheers and feedback will give me fuel to write better . 

So, do feed in your comments and let me know whether you like the posts or not !

The "Why" of Life

I was conducting a session on Stress Management for an organization. 

 During the break, I saw a participant of the workshop standing near me as if hesitating to talk to me.  He was in his mid thirties and had a peaky and disturbed look on his face.  As if I had not noticed, I kept on going nearer to him , talking to other people. And as I had guessed, one he found me alone, he came up to me and said " Mam, just wanted to tell you that your session is going on very well, but somehow , I don't know why, I can't relate with the things being said  ..I have recently lost my wife ... I don't see any point in going on further with my life ... I have nothing to expect from life anymore ... "

I found it very very disturbing. 

And in the next session of the workshop, I talked about the book by Victor  E Frankl , "Man's Search for Meaning "

Victor Emil Frankl (1905 – 1997) was a Austrian neurologist, psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor, devoted his life to studying, understanding and promoting “meaning.” His famous book, Man’s Search for Meaning, tells the story of how he survived the Holocaust by finding personal meaning in the experience, which gave him the will to live through it. He went on to later establish a new school of existential therapy called logotherapy, based in the premise that man’s underlying motivator in life is a “will to meaning,” even in the most difficult of circumstances. 

The key lesson's are these :

1. “He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.”

Frankl and his fellow prisoners had to endure atrocities that many of us cannot even imagine. Prisoners had to survive on one small piece of bread a day and maybe some thin soup. They had to work 20 hours each day, digging and laying railroads and so on. If you looked weak, you were beaten. If you stopped working, you were beaten. And you didn’t get much of a second chance after that. You could be killed for any reason. Frankl talks about one inmate that had a dream that the war would be over on March 30th. He told this to Frankl at the beginning of the month and had hopes that his dream was a premonition that would come true. However, on the 29th, when no sense of an ending was coming, this inmate became ill. On March 31st, Frankl writes that “his prophecy came true and he died”. The war was over for him.

To all outward appearances, he had died of typhus. It wasn’t typhus that had killed him. It was his loss of hope.  On the other hand, there was an inmate who had a small kid waiting for him. He had a purpose to live and he lived. 

2. "Love is the ultimate and the highest goal to which a man can aspire"

Frankl himself endured the camps by thinking constantly of his wife who had been separated from him long ago and sent to a female camp. Even in the harshest parts of the day, exhausted, sleep-deprived, overworked, underfed, Frankl found salvation in the love that he had for his wife: "But my mind clung to my wife’s image, imaging it with an uncanny acuteness. I heard her answering me, saw her smile, her frank and encouraging look. Real or not, her look was then more luminous than the sun which was beginning to rise"

Frankl learned that love really does conquer all. The sadistic guards could do anything they liked to him. It didn’t matter. He had his loving wife’s image in his mind for company. Love was an antidote to pain.

3. "Suffering too has a meaning"

Frankl argued that we always have the freedom to find meaning through meaningful attitudes even 

in apparently meaningless situations. For example, an elderly, depressed patient who could not 

overcome the loss of his wife was helped by the following conversation with Frankl:

Frankl asked "What would have happened if you had died first, and your wife would have had to  survive you ?"

"Oh," replied the patient, "for her this would have been terrible; how she would have suffered!"

Frankl continued, "You see such a suffering has been spared her; and it is you who have spared her  this suffering; but now, you have to pay for it by surviving her and mourning her." 

The man said no word, but shook Frankl's hand and calmly left his office. 

There are three ‘whys’ that stand out from Frankl’s writing:

·         Love 

·         Work 

·         Dignity in suffering

We have likely heard many people utter these words from a concentration camp prisoner:

 “I have nothing to expect from life anymore”. 

In fact, we have probably uttered these words ourselves.

Many of our own darkest moments look positively radiant when compared to that which POWs like Frankl had to endure .....

So if ever you lose hope, think about Frankl and find the "Why" of your life  and say "Yaay " to life !