5 things to avoid while speaking in Impromptu Situations

If you want to speak as a leader in impromptu situations, avoid the following blunders:

1. Talking Too Much

A common pitfall is blabbering  on. Those who have this tendency, interrupt others, monopolize meetings, ignore valuable contributions of others, and in general turn people off.

Stick to the matter at hand. Don’t waste anyone’s time.

2. Not Preparing

Winston Churchill had fun with speakers who talk without thinking. He observed: “Before they get up, they do not know what they are going to say; when they are speaking, they do not know what they are saying; and when they have sat down, they do not know what they have said.”

Well, we can prepare to be spontaneous. There are times when you know you’ll be part of an impromptu event – a client chat, a conversation with a subordinate, an important visitor. Take whatever time you have to prepare notes, or a mental outline of what you will say. Even if you only have a few seconds, pause and decide what your message is.

3. Misreading your Audience

Still another impromptu faux pas  is misreading your audience.

Be sensitive to the feelings, concerns, and knowledge of your listeners. Some of the engineers I’ve coached are spot on when speaking , but overestimate the ability of colleagues and clients to understand particular issues.

Similarly, a boss might misread a situation in which a new hire needs a compliment, or friendly guidance, rather than a critique. A participant in a meeting may speak up with a proposed plan, not realizing (because he has tuned out) that the group has just moved beyond that proposal. Staying attuned to your audience’s thinking is critical in all situations.

4. Letting off Steam

Another impromptu gaffe is letting off steam. We all carry baggage with us\ in our minds. Fears, disappointments, concerns, and uncertainties. Occasionally impromptu exchanges bring these to the surface. As a result, sometimes we say things we regret.

5. Cracking Jokes

Humor is dangerous for leaders if not properly thought of !

An executive I know was honoring a staff member, who was about to retire. He stood up and began his speech: “Sunny is a memorable figure. One colleague will remember him for being late…. another for his crazy sense of humor…. and still another for the fact that he has always been a bit wierd.” He concluded by saying, “So we’ll always remember you, Sunny, for the things you may wish to forget!”

Everyone laughed – Sunny the loudest – but no one was laughing inside. They were embarrassed for Sunny and for the speaker. This was not a moment of leadership.

All these pitfalls can be avoided if you prepare for your impromptu remarks.

The underlying message of Impromptu is that extemporaneous speaking requires forethought, discipline, and preparation.  Keep key leadership messages uppermost in your mind. And use whatever time you have to read your audience, collect your thoughts, choose your words, and structure your script. These techniques will equip you for success as a leader in the Age of Impromptu.

What I learnt from my Teenaged Daughter

My daughter was a 15 year old teenager when we went to Tanzania on a family vacation.  Me, my husband and my daughter. 

It is always very difficult to match the holidays of all three of us but after quite a lot of trials and tribulations , we had managed to take 2 weeks off from our busy schedules.  Initially, we had planned to go to Europe , but Pulin, a very dear college friend of my husband, who was posted in Tanzania at that time,  insisted that we visit  Africa instead. 

"I will make all the arrangements !" he said "You must visit Serengeti Wildlife reserve. It is my  guarantee that you will not be disappointed !"

So ,  off we went to Tanzania. And by Jove, we were not disappointed !  Pulin had meticulously planned everything for us . The logistical arrangements of the stay included spending a night in a tent right in the middle of a dense forest ! It was near the huge Ngorongoro crater . The tents had 2 beds each. I insisted that my daughter and I sleep in one tent and my husband spends the night in another one.  

My daughter did  not like the arrangement. 

"Ma, I am big enough and I am not afraid. I will sleep in the other tent , not Baba " . The rebellious teenager said. 

"No ! " . The protective mother insisted. 

She was silent for a few moments and then said . "OK. But you have to promise me that the next thing which I will ask for , you will not say No". 

She looked straight at my eyes.  I waited .  Seconds ticked away. She kept on looking straight at my eyes. 

I had to say "OK" . 

You know, it is always so difficult to communicate with a teenager. At that moment, I wanted to have my way, come what may.  

I did not know what price I would have to pay for this promise later !

I don't know whether Minnie, my daughter was frightened or not when  the foxes came trotting up to our tent and made strange noises, but I definitely was ! I clutched her tightly throughout the night. 

The visit to the Seringiti Reserve was also magical.  Lions, Giraffes, thousands of Zebras walked past our Safari Jeep! You just have to experience it to believe it! 

Pulin was right . It was an amazing experience. Unforgettable !

The last lap of our vacation was in the beautiful island of Zanzibar.  The soft white sands of the beach, the transparent water of the sea, the blue ocean mingling into the blue sky in the horizon, it was heavenly. We were absolutely enchanted. It was almost 12 noon when we reached the beach side hotel. We kept our bags in the room and ran towards the beach. 

I love the sea. It never fails to mesmerize me. The waves, the beach, the happy faces, the sunlight, the breeze, I soak them in whenever I am near the sea. 

But , I have a  fear of water.  Knee deep water is my limit for venturing inside the sea.  

As we looked around the beach,  I knew what was coming next ....

Both father and daughter looked at me and said, "Lets go snorkeling !".

I did not protest because I knew that snorkeling is always done in shallow water , not too far from the beach and the beautiful Atlantic Ocean in front of me was not like the angry Bay of Bengal at Puri (Orissa in India). 

The blue water in Zanzibar beach swayed softly like the long tresses of a youthful girl. 

But my ordeal was yet to begin. 

A snorkeling guide came towards us. My husband discussed with him and signaled towards us to come to the boat. 

"Boat ? Why Boat ? Snorkeling is done right from the beach !" I exclaimed

"Yeah, I know , but the guide is saying that due to the tide, he will take us a bit inside the sea and then we will do snorkeling". 

"No. Then you can do it tomorrow ". 

Both of them looked disappointed and then came the lethal weapon .....

"Ma ! I want to do snorkeling now !"

"No !"

"No ? Ma ... " Minnie paused , " Remember your promise ? " 

I did not know what to say.  How could I go back on my words ?  A promise is a promise is a promise !

I did not say anything for a few seconds. Those few seconds were like eternity for both me and Minnie. 

Then I made up my mind . 

"OK. I too will come with you two on the boat " . 

"Ma , You will also come into the water ? " Minnie's eyes shone with excitement. 

"Not exactly ! I will sit on the boat while you enjoy the sport", and all three of us sat on the boat, put on life jackets on us and ventured ahead on the gorgeous water which twinkled as the bright sun rays fell on it.

I tried to put on a very calm and unperturbed face, mustered up enough courage to look stoic and happy. But deep down my heart, I was very very afraid. 

What we did not know was that high tide had set in and snorkeling could not be done . The best time for it was in the early hours of the morning.  The tout did not want to lose an opportunity to make some quick buck and hence he had suggested that we take the boat, go inside the sea for snorkeling.

As the boat pounded further into the sea, my heart started thudding harder and harder. There was water all around me. Due to the high tide, there were no other boat around us. I was frightened , Really , really frightened. 

At that moment, I took a decision. I know it might sound foolish, but I was dead serious.  I took a decision that if I see anything untoward happening to my husband and daughter, I will instantly throw open my life jacket and dive inside the deep water.  Yes. That was what I decided.  As soon as my decision firmed up in my mind, I became calm. I looked around me and soaked in the beauty of the moment.  

I could feel the thin line between life and death. 

My husband and my daughter put on the snorkeling gear and went into the water. I kissed them. My husband had done snorkeling earlier in Philippines, but that experience was different. It was near the beach. Here, when he went inside, the water came inside his nose and throat and suddenly he lost his cool when he could not sense the ground under his feet. He came up the boat and said he will prefer not to snorkel. I held his hands tightly and asked my daughter too to come up. She could try again tomorrow. 

This time, it was she who said "No " !

"Ma, I have decided to do it now. I too am feeling a bit afraid, but if I do not overcome my fear now, I know I will never ever be able to snorkel ", Minnie panted. 

"But .... ".

"If I do not let go of my fear now, I will lose my self confidence. Would you like that ? I HAVE to succeed .... "

Hearing those words from a 15 year old immature teenager had a profound effect on me.  I could not say anything . I looked at her as  she talked to the snorkeling guide and asked him to hold her hands and be near her when she would snorkel. I saw her putting on the gear, take the air pipe in her mouth and dive inside the water.  I sat like a statue . I saw her disappear from my line of sight . 

And I looked inside my heart. 

If my small daughter was trying so hard to overcome her fears, could I too not try ?  Can I not take my fear by the horns and at least try to drive it away ?

After about 20 minutes, Minnie came back.  She was ecstatic. 

"My God ! " she embraced us . " The sea is so beautiful. I saw the most wonderful corals . I have never seen such colours before . It was just fantastic. Thank you Ma for letting me do it !"

I looked at her flushed , happy, animated face. Her words blurred inside my ears. She chatted and talked and shrieked and  described her adventure.  

She had succeeded. 

As we returned towards the shore, the cool breeze brushed my hair on my face.

I made another decision. 

I will learn from my daughter.  I will also succeed.  Tomorrow, I too will go snorkeling with them. 

Ramu and the two Candles

It was a hot summer evening. 

Ramu knew that there will be long power cuts and he wanted to stock candles for the eventuality.  He went to a shop and  bought two candles worth two rupee each. When he gave a ten rupee note, the shopkeeper returned six rupees to Ramu. There was a five rupee note and two fifty paisa coins. 

When he returned home, there was no light. So Ramu lit the candle.

Accidentally, he dropped a fifty paisa coin in the dark. He looked around but could not find the coin. Slowly the candle burnt to half but Ramu was still busy looking for the coin. Gradually the candle was burnt out. So Ramu lit the second candle too and kept looking for the coin. 

A few minutes later, the second candle was also burnt out but luckily Ramu recovered the coin. 

When both the candles were gone, Ramu pondered. 

"For the fifty paisa  coin, I have burnt out candles worth four rupees. Have I gained or lost ? "

Dear Readers, what do you think ?

Here the answer is very simple but in real life , don't we do the same thing ? 

While pursuing small things , we lose sight of the bigger loss that is happening.  

We lose out on spending time with our kids and parents, having fun with friends, keeping ourselves physically and mentally fit .  


Ramu has lost. 

Let us not be a Ramu !

Yours Fearfully ....

"So, how was your last day at work? " I asked Amish , who had left his previous organization and was supposed to join another company next week. 

He was quiet for a few seconds and said "Well, it was good but ..." he gave a significant pause . 

I waited. 

"You know what , ? Sushil, one of my peers, actually came till the exit gate to see me off in the evening and he said a very unusual thing ... "

"Hmm ... what ? "

"He said that he had learnt many things from me and  he valued my contribution to the organization and that he found me very professional and rational ... !"

"Thats good Amish ! But this is not unusual though !"

"But it is !" Amish cried out, "In fact , I told him that if he had articulated this even once to the MD during my stint in the organization, things might have been different ! Everybody fears thie MD and his whims. He does not like to hear anyone negate his views. And me being me, there would be sparks while working with him. It was clear that he did not like me and the rest of the people who matter, never spoke up !" 

Classic case of  Leading with Fear. And as I hear from Amish, most of the good people have left the organization and the company is at the lowest point 

The traditional notion in many organization is that fear is a good thing and benefits the organization.  I remember when I had joined an organization, the first thing that my boss had told me was - "Ananya, be strict with your team or else they will not work !"

Well, fear is a good motivator, but if the environment reflects respect, care and love , it becomes much more effective than people mindlessly following orders. A fear-based organization loses its best people and the knowledge they take with them. Just like Amish !

If the organization is being led with fear, it creates an avoidance behaviour in the people , because no one wants to make a mistake and this inhibits growth and change.  People will not take any risk because they will fear that failure will not be tolerated. The employees will always follow status quo and will not be able to perform upto their real capability and potential. 

If the leaders bind the people with care, compassion, listening and connecting on a personal level, the people will be attracted to work harder, take risks, learn and the the organization will grow and go to the next level !

If the senior leadership show respect and trust , it not only makes the employee work better, they get emotionally connected to their work. On the contrary, if there is fear at work, it will slowly destroy the people's spirit and ultimately, the organization will face a slow death . When there is an atmosphere of fear , the opportunity for getting genuine feedback is throttled. The leaders remain blinded to the ground reality, denying them the chance to take the right decision and change damaging behaviour. 

Though competitiveness and ambition are hailed in organizations, love, respect and genuineness are very powerful tools. I remember a sequence in a Hindi Film named "Munnabhai MBBS" , where a medical intern did an experiment with love. There was an old  sweeper , who was forever cribbing . He wiped the floors , cleaned the dustbins , sweeped the corridors.  No one had ever seen him smiling. Munnabhai, the intern applied his "Jaadu ki Jhappi " (Magic of the hug) on him. One day, when the sweeper was cleaning and cribbing that no one cared about  cleanliness and people just littered everywhere, Munnabhai went and stood in front of him. The sweeper scowled and started shouting expletives. Munnabhai did not say anything but hugged him tightly. For a few seconds, the sweeper did not know what was happening. No one had hugged him ever ! And while hugging him, Munnabhai said "I know that you work so hard but no one ever says thank you to you. Everybody  is grateful and showers thanks profusely on the doctors , nurses etc, but you, who keep the hospital spic and span , no one notices you ! I am saying thank you on behalf of everybody ! Thank you for all you do ! Please understand that your work is as important as ours!"  And then he addressed the sweeper by his name. 

And it was really magic . The sweeper was transformed. He smiled ! From that day onwards , he never cribbed. And of course, Munnabhai was a hero for him . When the intern left the hospital, people wept ! Such is the power of love !

Fear based motivation says " You give me a job and I will give you just enough to keep it ". 

But a love and respect based motivation says " I will give ALL that I have to offer " ! I feel this the real motivator which makes you feel alive, connected and energized. It meets the unspoken needs , respect and affirmation for the employees. 

A fine balance needs to be maintained by the leaders. Sometimes and in some situations, fear is definitely needed . Yes, I agree that  rational thinking is important but if it is balanced with love, it builds trust, creativity, a culture of innovation , initiative and enthusiasm. 

That one response from Amish's colleague told volumes about the culture of the organization. I sincerely wish that the leaders change their attitude there , else , just like me, can you too not foresee it's future ?